I am not an alien but sometimes I feel like one. I like space, the vast dark stuff above us and a lack of clutter.

I was born about 21 and a quite a lot more years ago in 1962 but I still feel like I'm thirteen and ready to play outside. I have always been interested in the way things work and used to read 'New Scientist'. I wanted to become an astrophysicist but my maths was rubbish so I had to be happy with knowing about Red Dwarves and Black Holes and Star Trek.

People I Love


My grandad P. used to let me chew sunglasses. He liked to get up at five in the morning in order to light the fire and then he fell asleep after lunch for only two seconds. He rode a motorcycle with a sidecar, showed me how to grow very large lettuces and how to bake bread rolls. He had only half a stomach.

I had another Grandad who was equally as brilliant - he was an aeroplane engineer and liked to sail. They remain an inspiration to me.

Things I like

This is either a very tiny person peeping over the top of a normal sized cabbage and thinking this will feed my people for years to come OR this is a normal sized person peeping over the top of a giant cabbage and thinking this will feed my people for years to come. I am not at all keen on cabbage.

However, I do like rhubarb crumble and custard, hairy guinea pigs, stick insects, walking up hills and cycling down them and stories, lots and lots of stories.

Hairy guinea pigs are fantastically amusing. They are also very sensitive and should not be exposed to loud dogs or small children - these dangerous creatures may cause heart failure and they're not too healthy for guinea pigs either.Guinea pigs walk, eat and speak in an amusing way. Their actual noise is a matter for debate - wheep, wheep or snuffle snuffle? Opinion is divided. Either way, you've gotta love 'em.

Rhubarb crumble - slightly overcooked with sticky, caramelised brown edges. What's not to like?

Ruins - I'm not fussy, any old ruins will do for me. Take this one for example, reeking atmosphere.

Sports I Like

Not only do I write really, really well but I also attend the occasional rugby match, borrow my friend, Claire's decent camera and take photos of big men attempting to stay within the bounds of their shorts.


Rugby photos

Fencing is a fantastic sport. I like to fight with foil and occasionally epee. I go to the Isle of Axholme fencing club. That's me doing some demonstartion fencing in Crowle Market Place.

People I Look Like

My brother - Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
My brother - Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

This is Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall (the one with glasses) and he is a very amusing cook. According to rather too many people he could be my brother (he isn't). One day, I'd like to go to the River Cottage and just see if somebody asks me why I'm not in the kitchen. 

Hello Visitor!

"Grandad's Bench is a heart-warming tale which never steps over the line dividing love from sentimentality. It will appeal to young children who know about the special bond that often exists between the young and the old." Carousel

"This attractive book is the warming story of a lonely child, new to a cold rainy climate, who loses the precious toy elephant that is his confidant... a ‘must’ for our schools and homes."
- Children's Books Ireland - Siddharth and Rinki

Launching December 5th at the Festival of the Christmas Trees in Scunthorpe

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